so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
