Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
