apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
