Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
