I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
