you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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