Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
