Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
