my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
