ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
