so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
