got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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