Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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