im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
