if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
