So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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