Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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