I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
