Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
