Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
