Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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