after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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