Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Can I color on your dick again?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
