You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
