If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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