Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
