hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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