I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
