I am in a vortex of obligation.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Randomize
