Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
