kristin has been a bad kristin
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
