The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
