Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
