wanna go halves on a baby?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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