I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
