so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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