Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
