38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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