Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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