I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
