he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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