3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
