Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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