Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
