THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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