I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
