OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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