Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
third nipple confirmed
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
