I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
