My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
